My own mom is gone, but we still celebrate Mother’s Day with my Mother-In-Law. In addition, this year my dad’s girlfriend joined our family meal. So I wanted to have a small gift–just a token–for both of them. And I wanted it to be made by my children.

Unfortunately, most gifts made by children turn out to be… useless crap.

However, I did find a simple homemade birdfeeder idea on Pinterest. It turned out awesome, especially since my Mother-In-Law loves birds and my dad’s girlfriend has trees in her “city” yard. I used the recipe I found here, with slight modifications.

First, I dissolved four packets of Knox gelatin in a cup of water. Then I stirred it into 3 cups of birdseed.

We laid cookie cutters on a sheet of waxed paper, then pressed the birdseed into the shapes until the cutters were about halfway filled. I placed a loop of string with a knot tied into it on top of the seeds.

Then we filled the rest of the cookie cutter with birdseed, packing it down firmly.

I suggest letting it dry overnight, at least. The ones we tried to handle too soon fell apart. Overnight–at least 10 hours or so–seems to give the gelatin time to completely set.

After they’re dry, gently remove them from the mold (pressing them out with your fingers). That’s it! A simple birdfeeder gift that even a toddler can make (with a little help). Even better, it’s consumable (by birds). So Grandma or Aunt Jane won’t feel obligated to use it or display it every time your child visits. They can simply say, “The birds ate it up!”

Literally. I suspect this trampy looking doll engages in sex-for-pay activities in the back of her pink Corvette. How else could she afford a Corvette, a camper, and a dream home?

Okay, I’m kidding.

Sort of.

I never had Barbies when I was a kid. Which was probably a good thing. As the only minority in a very small and very Caucasian town, the last thing I needed was a tall, skinny blond doll to remind me (yet again) of how different I was from “the norm.” (Back in my day, Barbie wasn’t nearly as ethnically diverse.) I was exposed to them, of course, at friends’ homes. And I can remember creating lurid and very adult storylines to go with these adult-looking dolls.

Maybe that was just me.

Anyway, I was adamant that my daughters would not have Barbies, too. But recently at a vacation home, my elder daughter discovered a wealth of Barbies. And she loved them.

So I am on a search for a Barbie alternative. A doll that can be used for imaginative play and dressed in fashionable clothing. But one that does NOT have an unrealistic hourglass figure, legs that belong on a giraffe rather than a woman, a supermodel face, impeccable hair, and breasts that are achievable only through surgery.

As of now, the only suggestions I’ve received are the Only Hearts Club dolls. But I am under the impression that they are out of business. Any other alternatives to Barbie out there?

In a short while my CaveFamily will be heading to the beach. We’ll be sharing a house with about 8 other non-paleo peeps. In the past, each family has taken turns making dinner for the whole group. Of course, that presents a bit of a issue when you have a “special” diet.

Rather than creating issues and separating ourselves from the camaraderie of meal-sharing that is so important to social bonding, I’ll be relaxing our standards a bit. I won’t blink an eye if the sausage our friend grills isn’t grass-fed or organic. I’ll go ahead and use bottled salad dressing on my greens. And I’ll happily indulge in some bacon that contains nitrates.

It’s only for a few days. And I’d much rather spend those few days enjoying my friends and family instead of obsessing about my food. Life’s too short to (metaphorically) slap the faces of the ones we love in the interest of “health.”